Saturday, October 5, 2013


One of my biggest fears is lightning. i have been trying to face this fear and a very dear friend of mine has been giving me some ideas.  Now every time there is a storm i put out a small bowl of honey as a sacrifice for Thor. As i do not drink alcohol it would not be a sacrifice for me to poor out a beer to him but i do use honey in my tea and he uses it in his mead. So i give him some honey every time there is a storm here and i am at home.  i feel better after doing this but i am still terrified.  my chest hurts and i get so tired after a storm. i have had to drive in a few storms and that really wears me out. There have been times my anxiety is so bad during a storm i have had to pull over to the side of the road and wait it out but that does not help much either as i am still out in the storm. Most of the time i try to call one of my friends and talk to them while i am driving so that i have to concentrate on the conversation and the road and it seems to help but my friends say my conversations with them when i do this do not make any sense.  They go along with it because they understand but i feel bad. 

i just wish i was not so terrified of lightning, hiding every time there is storm does not do me any good and it really does not help if i am at school when there is a storm my professors are understanding but i cannot miss class and i cannot disrupt it either. Thus why i am trying so hard to work on facing my fears. i hope to not be terrified at all in the future but even if i cannot completely get rid of the fear i am hoping to be able to control it enough that i can get through my every day life without being paralyzed by every storm.