And So i Wait

~~~~ Ever feel like the Universe is telling you to wait? Get on with the rest of your life but to wait in one area? That is how i feel right now. (Shannon i know you know what i am talking about with this.)  i gave my heart to someone several years ago and we tried to be in a relationship during a rough time in both of our lives and it affect our relationship and we are no longer together. Very long story and i made some mistakes that i am not proud of but i know they were my fault. But back to the point. It has been a couple of years since we broke up and he is still in my heart and i can still feel when he is near or upset. We have/had such a connection between us. 

~~~~ Now i have tried to date other people but every time i try it does not work. i mean at all. Only a couple of dates and then they just disappear out of my life. No Call, No Show, No Text, No Messages, No Anything from them. Just poof they are gone no reason or explanation given. And this happens every time. Even the guys that say if this does not work out we will still be friends are gone. 

~~~~ i know the questions most of you are asking. So lets address those.

1) How fast do i move? ---- Not very fast at all. i do not jump into bed with them nor do i use the Love word with them. That word is very very special to me and gets thrown around way to much.

2) Do i cling to them or come across as too needy? ---- i do not think i do. i have learned that i am a very strong woman and can take care of myself and i do that.

3) Do i push them away? ----  NO, i do not push them away i want them to stay close that is why i have let them into my life even as a friend. i can be very guarded when it comes to my life and if i let you in then that is because i want you there. (Okay, yes i post things on here but only 2 people who read this even know my real name and who any of  the people mentioned on here are. That is why i do not use real names for anyone.)

4) Do i compare them to Him? ---- No, i never compare people to other people because everyone is different and their own person..

~~~~ i have meditated about this and asked the Universe about it as well and i get the intuition that i am to wait for Him. i have consulted my cards and asked others to consult theirs and we have all gotten the same answers. (Sorry, but i do not share the answers of a reading with others) i have even dreamed about doing a reading and got a really strong answer that when i woke up i still remembered it and felt as if i had done the reading and not just drempt it. i feel i am to wait for him to be ready because he is the one i am meant to be with. That he is my soul mate and we are connected in so many ways. 

~~~~ With messages as strongly as i have been getting them about waiting that is what i am going to do. i trust my intuition when it is this strong and i have done as much as i have to ignore it and go against it and yet i still feel it. i have even had dreams of my relatives who have pasted telling me to wait for him. i do not know what else i can do and so i wait.  

~~~~ i know he has tried to date other women since we broke up and that it has never worked out for him as well. A couple of dates and then it was over. Sometimes on his side and sometimes on theirs. If he finds another that makes him happy and who he is meant to be with then i will be very happy for him because in the end all we can ask for, for the people in our lives (Hearts)  is for them to be happy, healthy, loved, and safe.

~~~~ i know this could have gone on my other blog as well as it is not much about what i meant this blog to be about but i tried to write it there first and the words would not come out right. So when i tried to write it here because i felt compelled to write it the words just flowed they may not make any sense they are just what is in my head and i needed to get out.